Nothing really new to say....

I haven't posted in a while, but there's really nothing to talk about. We're all doing fine. I had an appt. with my midwife, Shayna, yesterday. Honestly, I hate talking to anyone about the whole midwife/traveling to Texas to have my baby thing....everyone thinks I'm crazy. Well, everyone except for a few people: Bee, of course, and some of the people that I know through natural birth stuff...they understand my intense desire to do this without a hospital and without the fear of having matters taken out of my hands. Luckily, because my labors and short and simple, I've not had to deal with too much intervention, but I always worry. Never about the birth or the pain or even the baby....but about the intervention that may happen. I think horrible things like: "what if I don't dilate fast enough and they want to give me pitocin??" "what if I go too long passed my due date and the dr. demands an induction?" "what if the efm scares the dr. and they want to do an emergency c/s." These are the things that terrify me... not birth, that's normal. Not the pain, I can deal with that.

I'm reading this really neat book that Shayna loaned me called Baby Catcher. Baby Catcher is a collection of stories from a midwife. It reads really, really well and is very entertaining. I would have enjoyed being a midwife if things had been different. I love the birth stuff...I love the laboring stuff. I eat it up. I only wish that I had more time to devote to it. I feel so pulled in so many directions that I'm unable to give my full attention to anything for very long.